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Accentuate the Positve
assembled @ 5:00 p.m. on 2004-04-12

Holy notify! The guestbook emails aren't quite working, are they? I had no idea I had so many wonderful messages from y'all. So my apologies for ignoring you, and so many thanks for all the love.

To answer the big question, about Hero quitting EQ, it came about like this: Mav found this game, and thought it would be a cool way of spending our hangout time, all playing together. I said yeah, it would be, but as long as Hero had two EQ accounts, and a City of Heroes account, in short, there was no way in hell I would have one, too. So Hero quit. He told me he was quitting, then he told his online friends (one of which offered to pay for his account for a whole year, if he would only drop in once in a while), he went on one or two more raids, and then he quit. And since, though I've been worried about him getting addicted to this new game, he hasn't. He plays maybe two hours a day, if that. Usually less, and then he's in bed by 10 pm, so he can get enough sleep for work the next day. He's more confident and energetic, more affectionate with me, and with the kids. Folks, he even did the laundry the other day without me asking him to. And what seems to me to be the biggest wonder, is that he told me he feels so much better since he quit, that now he can focus on other things. Miracles happen, they really do.

The stuff with Pearl, I'm sure it's just a phase, and all kids go through it, but my God am I drained by the end of the day. She's always been a highly emotional, very socially interactive child, and when there's no one else to play with, I get to play with her. All. Day. Long. Some days I feel like I don't even get to finish a thought before it's interrupted by "Mommy? Mommy?! Mommy!" Lately, she's been throwing tantrums galore, over the least little thing. She wants help getting dressed, but when I touch her she says "NO! Let me do it!!" She wants help going potty, even though she doesn't need it, but if I flush the toilet or pull up her pants for her on the wrong day, it's another meltdown. I know it's a stage she has to go through. I know it's frustrating to be two years old and want to do so much, but not be able to do it. Some days I do my best, and some days I don't. Even those days when I do my best, I feel like I failed, or I get very little personal time. I keep telling myself that it will pass, and I take deep breaths and I count to ten. And then sometimes, I just give up and let her watch a movie, which she really shouldn't do. I'm getting there, though. I know I'm not the worst mommy in the world, but lord, some days I have a very hard time remembering that.

--N

then || now