*some assembly required



Ave Goddess
assembled @ 12:08 a.m. on 2001-12-20

Once again, I've been thinking about Mary, the mother of Jesus. Tonight, 20/20 obliged me by running a story on the research that has been done about her. It's very interesting to me to think of her as a real person, a real mother with the same concerns, worries and joys I have (with, most likely, a few more). In a similar vein, I've always liked the idea of a female deity, a Goddess, but I could never completely let go of my indoctrination into the idea of the Paternal God. Probably something to do with my own childishness. Since I've become a mother, though, I've grown into the power that women have; that power of loving and giving and strength. But still, the actual experience of God had been missing for me for quite a while. When I was back in Michigan, I went to a wonderful church called The Church of Today, a Unity church, and I really felt at home there. Going there, even just once a week, I opened my eyes to the miracles all around me. Lately, like I said, my "miracle-sight" was gone. I've missed it, and I kept unsuccessfully trying to find the exact same experience of the Divine that I had before. While I have been in this two-part frame of mind, I started re-reading Book 1 of Conversations With God. I came across one particular perfect line there, speaking directly to me, to my heart, and it was this: "You cannot know God until you've stopped telling yourself that you already know God." All that time that I had been "missing" God, it was simply that who God/Goddess is for me has transformed, and I went looking for my past views and experiences, which no longer existed. Since then, the experience of the Goddess is easier for me to "tune" in to than the man with the white beard. There was nothing wrong with that image; it worked for me for a time. Now, though, when I talk to God, I am talking to another Mother.

--N

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all words ME, 2005.