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Goodness
assembled @ 10:09 p.m. on 2004-02-05

Oh, I have so much to share today! Today, Red, my mom and I, took Pearl and the Sprout to their first live show, and Red laughed because I, the sappy mom, started crying when the characters came on stage. I still get a little choked up, thinking about Pearl's big smile, and her wide blue eyes, and how, when Mom dropped us off at home this evening, Pearl said, completely uncoached, "Thank you for meeting us today, Makee!"

I was really surprised, too, that Sprout liked the show. He slept through part of it, which I expected. What I didn't expect were the big round eyes and little round mouth that would blossom on his face every time Big Bird came on stage. He was so much fun to watch, and my face still hurts from smiling. Then, on the way home, I was letting the little guy chomp my finger, like he's been wanting to do lately. Being curious, I checked his bottom gums, and I'll be damned if the little guy doesn't have a tooth! And one right beside it, ready to pop through! He's three months old, and he has teeth! Pardon me while I get all weepy again. This three months has flown.

On the marriage-front, things are... well, better. I smile as I type that, because it feels so good to have good news for a change. Hero and I had it out the other day. I was going to leave. I had my suitcase out, and Pearl's too. I was planning in my head how I was going to mangage the appoinments, etc. we had for the next couple of days. Hero knew I was going, and I had gotten the dreaded "do whatever the fuck you want". And I suddenly got that I didn't want to leave. Also, that not leaving at that point means I have no right to complain any more, really, but I wasn't ready or willing to take that step. Somehow, that change of heart opened up the lines of communication between us, and we're finally really talking again. Thank God. Nothing is really solved, but we're talking, and I plan to have a conversation with him Saturday (since I really won't see him till then - he has classes) about getting some marriage counseling when we can afford it. We need to talk to someone objective, and we need to talk to that person together. For the first time in a long time, I'm hopeful. That feels so, so wonderful.

Back to the children (don't I always end up there, somehow?), we're potty-training Pearl. She understands that at this point, when she sleeps or leaves the house, she still wears diapers, but around the house, it's a t-shirt and underwear. She's had a few accidents, but she's doing beautifully. I won't share every little detail, but I am so proud, and it's even better to see her little face light up with pride.

She and I have become quite the craftswomen, too. I've started dyeing yarn with Kool-Aid, painting it, really, and it's a blast. Very easy, very safe, and Pearl comes up with quite stunning color combinations. She paints with reckless abandon, and her yarns come out so much better than the ones I tried to do "right". So I took some pointers from her, and just started dumping the Kool-Aid on my yarn, and wow, did it come out pretty. I will have to post some pictures of the growing pile of yarn on our desk. Pearl asked me to knit her a rainbow, so I'm making her a Scarf of Many Colors. I also finished my own quite lovely scarf, golden-green mohair and a beautiful multi-colored cotton thread. It's so stunning that I try to wear it all day, and my sister requested one of her own, once she saw mine. Now my mind is bubbling with creativity and inspiration, and ideas for what to do with my beautiful yarn. I had better live a long time, just so that I can knit everything that I want to.

--N

then || now