Tired. So tired. I spent about 6 hours today scrubbing and straightening and bending and sweeping and mopping. I sort of have a job. There's a wonderful lady who runs this yarn shop, and her newsletter said she needed some help in her shop. Being desperate, I told her I could work, and she's been doing what she can to give me hours. She's fine with Hero bringing Sprout to nurse (and Sprout seems to be ok with taking a bottle of breastmilk, which is both a relief and makes me feel like utter crap that I have to give him one), and it's working in a yarn shop. I haven't gone on and on about it here, but those close to me know that I love to knit. Love, love, love it. It's like my replacement for painting, and it's my creative outlet. It's my form of relaxation and meditation, as well as a way to have something solid I can use and say, "Hey, I made that." I recently finished my first pair of socks (which were also the first thing I knit for myself), and they are oh-so-comfy. Too thick to wear with shoes very well, but so nice for wearing around a chilly house. And damn pretty, too. So, long story short, working in a yarn shop is, for me, like play. Cleaning a house isn't, but at least I get paid, and I'm helping Joan out.
Stress is still hanging about me like a big, cheap plastic poncho, though. I'm not thinking about driving the car into a ditch at the moment, but I was pretty resentful today, as I scrubbed three toilets, that I should have become so desperate. I alone am not making enough money to afford our own place. I don't know. I'm just tired, and now is probably not the best time to analyze my feelings. That's a recipe for a downward spiral, for sure.
--N
LATELY
My New Page - 2006-04-15
Life is a Magic Thing, Woah. - 2005-11-18
No Dooce for You! - 2005-11-09
The Nicest Thing Anyone Has Ever Said To Me - 2005-09-05
Ugh. Grunt. Some Other Stuff. - 2005-09-01
RANDOM ENTRY
all words � ME, 2005.