I got an excellent chance to practice forgiveness today. The kids and I went to Arby�s after church, for our usual lunch date. Pearl was tired to begin with, and there was an inevitable meltdown. Sure, I was angry with her, but it was a minor thing. It was nothing compared with the anger I felt at the table of older women sitting next to us, whispering about how I should take my daughter into the bathroom and spank her. Did they somehow think that would help? Did they think that was kind, to sit and whisper and pass judgment on someone who was obviously having a bit of a struggle? Wouldn�t it have been more kind and humane to lend a hand, a friendly smile? No, they sat and judged instead, and I was furious. I do regret not speaking up; for once the fear of confrontation was not there, even though I was embarrassed. I was just focused on getting Pearl out of there before she smacked her head on the back of the booth for the third time, or screamed again. They did get an irate look on the way out, but oh how I wanted to call them on their smugness.
Still, it was an opportunity for me. Rev. Mary, just this morning in church, talked about finding the blessing in what could appear to us as �sour grapes�, and this kind of thing was just what she was talking about. On the way home, I spoke with Pearl about the situation, to let her know that my anger was not really with her, but with people who would whisper rudely and be that unkind. And in my speaking with her, in trying to teach her from that experience, I learned. I realized, as the words came out of my mouth, that they really, truly did not know any better. That�s how they were raised. That�s how they raised their children, and it�s always easier to say how you would discipline when you are watching someone else. So I forgave them. I forgave them because it was the right thing to do, for myself and for Pearl, and even for them. Who wants to carry around righteous anger on such a beautiful day?
In other news, I have a new, beautiful nephew! I wish I had a picture of this tiny, perfect, angelic little boy, but I don�t, just yet. I did, however, get to hold him when he was less than 24 hours old. He just stared at me with his wise old eyes, and I knew to expect great things from the wee one. Now to get started on that cardigan for him. I'm using fine gauge, red cotton. Red is the perfect color for him, and maybe it will still fit him when I finish it.
--N
LATELY
My New Page - 2006-04-15
Life is a Magic Thing, Woah. - 2005-11-18
No Dooce for You! - 2005-11-09
The Nicest Thing Anyone Has Ever Said To Me - 2005-09-05
Ugh. Grunt. Some Other Stuff. - 2005-09-01
RANDOM ENTRY
all words � ME, 2005.