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Motherhood has made me stronger. And more political.
assembled @ 8:44 a.m. on 2002-05-31

Motherhood has made me stronger. And more political.

Ew. I got a google hit from the search "Pearl execution pictures". I will not even justify that with a link. How horrid.

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On the plus side, ever since I wrote about Glamour Gals, I've gotten a ton of hits for "teeny models". Is that a specific kind of model, that so many people would be looking for them? Well, you won't find them here, that's for sure. No teeny women here.

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I'm joining a political group called MOTHERS, or at least signing up for regular information. The state of maternity leave in this country has bothered me for a long time, since we are supposed to be the most advanced nation in the world, yet we only require companies (of 50 or more employees) to provide 12 weeks of unpaid leave. When I was pregnant the first time, and working at my old job in the automotive industry, I was shocked to learn that, if I wanted paid leave, I would have to use my disability benefits. Two things about this really bothered me: one was the inference, no matter how slight, that childbirth and being with my newborn were a disability. That may be my own over-sensitivity. But the other thing that bothered me was that the policy seemed sexist to me. Men do not have children, so they can save their disability for a time when they may actually be disabled. What happens to a woman who has had to use her disability benefits to be with her child (something Americans seem to think is important to do), then actually becomes disabled and can't work? I guess she is screwed. And men don't have that risk. I think there should be an honest-to-goodness maternity leave benefit for women. And I am all for paternity leave, too. Just don't tell me I have to use disability for something that is not a disability.

And I am all for the idea of stay-at-home parenting (maternal or paternal) being valued and paid. Like the military. Even just a small amount that would put more value, in the public eye, on parenting. We are making people! But then that implies something has to be financially compensated to be of worth in this society. Oh, read the article. It explains it much better than I do!

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Why must I always feel like such a jerk when I stand up for myself? Even when I am justified, if it is someone I love on the other end of my statement, I feel so mean. Do I really think Hero is that fragile? Well, yes, maybe I do.

And this brings up a related subject for me. I've been reading through my old archives, and besides realizing that I've been judging myself really harshly, and my entries are pretty entertaining, I've also noticed how many problems were creeping up around Hero's EQ habit. So many times I mentioned that he was "hooked" or "addicted" but I guess that I felt it was not really an addiction, not like drugs or alcohol are. But I can see I've just been denying it, and reading those old entries strengthens the resolve I have now. I've been looking for a number for a counselor, and I'm currently waiting on the Fleet & Family Support person to get back to me. I could ask Blondie, the wife of a Marine in Hero's shop, but I really don't want this to get back to his coworkers, no matter how innocently. I'm supporting him, not trying to humiliate him.

--N

then || now